ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
