Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
