whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
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I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
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He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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