i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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