barbara walters just said penis...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
