I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
