Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
im on a boat
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