I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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