My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize