We're facebook friends in real life
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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