I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
