so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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