everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
