and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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