discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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