This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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