"it" just moved
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
