He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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