you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
