We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Send help, water and tortillas.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
