everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
