How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
