I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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