don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
