How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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