is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
