The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
