I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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