Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
