I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
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watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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