U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
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he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
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My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"