Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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