a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize