idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before