i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.