Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
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That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
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We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is