I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...