I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My vagina is officially offended.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.