Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Its not alright that i make out with a manican.

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  (404): Its not alright that i make out with a manican. http://tfl.nu/ol2k
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (959)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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  (612): On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait. http://tfl.nu/48a7
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (1821)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.

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  (845): I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick. http://tfl.nu/cye7
  Replies (9) Good night (4094) Bad night (711)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.

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  (216): I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself. (1-216): It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you. (216): He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry. http://tfl.nu/dfyj
  Replies (27) Good night (691) Bad night (5233)
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  (831): View more from California

  There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.

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  (831): There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college. http://tfl.nu/9iax
  Replies (25) Good night (7227) Bad night (775)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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  (913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z
  Replies (9) Good night (1356) Bad night (4421)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle

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  (712): My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle http://tfl.nu/jmfk
  Replies (3) Good night (1434) Bad night (1054)
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  (619): View more from California

  Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?

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  (619): Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened? http://tfl.nu/i6wm
  Replies (6) Good night (1678) Bad night (588)
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  (661): View more from California

  Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.

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  (661): Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting. http://tfl.nu/cxg1
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (1587)
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  (619): View more from California

  Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight

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  (619): Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight http://tfl.nu/2z23
  Replies (14) Good night (1855) Bad night (576)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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  (928): I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now. http://tfl.nu/gaaz
  Replies (29) Good night (3530) Bad night (712)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.

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  (713): You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin. http://tfl.nu/p64y
  Replies (5) Good night (1433) Bad night (662)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.

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  (770): No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas. http://tfl.nu/74tv
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (494)
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  (408): View more from California

  It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.

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  (408): It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many. http://tfl.nu/04qg
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (283)
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  (707): View more from California

  WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"

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  (707): WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!" http://tfl.nu/knx8
  Replies (5) Good night (369) Bad night (532)

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