i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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