I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
