Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
