if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
