I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
