i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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