ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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