you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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