What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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