I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My vagina just clenched in fear
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
