My liver just broke up with me...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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