Sry I called you an 8
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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