One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
