i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
