yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
