How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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