I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
