Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
