I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
