he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
