1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
