I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
