When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
