I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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