Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
