3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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