just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
