careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
