420 ftw
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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