Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
