I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
