It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
