Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
