it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
